Five Minutes for the Imago Dei

I can be a sarcastic and somewhat quick-witted man at times. Unfortunately, that has been a dangerous combination for me and has caused needless animosity between me and several Christians when in disagreement on political and theological issues.

I have stuck my foot in my mouth on several occasions online or in person when people take my overly sarcastic remarks the wrong way, or when I rely on my wit rather than wisdom when replying to people I disagree with online or in person. It is difficult to be slow to speak when I have the perfect retort I know will get me “likes” on Twitter or “laugh reacts” on Facebook.

Several years ago, I listened to a book by Alan Jacobs, a distinguished professor of the humanities in the honors program at Baylor University. The book, How to Think: A Survival Guide to a World at Odds, details the way we think or, more accurately, the way we do not think. Early in the book he relays an epiphany, the content of which offers a model that all Christians should use during disagreements and arguments.

The “give it five minutes” rule, as described by Jacobs, is simply this: when you see someone presenting an argument you disagree with, wait five minutes to see how or why you disagree before you respond. Those five minutes usually give you enough time to listen to what the other person said and allow your emotions to die down before you say something you wish you could take back. Christ said words matter (Matt. 12:36), so we should be intentional when we speak, especially in disagreement.

The late literary critic Wayne C. Booth said in his book, The Rhetoric of Rhetoric, that we should distinguish between what he called “win rhetoric,” when you are looking for a way to tear someone down, and “listening rhetoric,” in which people engage in the “systematic probing for ‘common ground.’”

In Biblical terms, the book of James summarizes the essence of the rule: “Know this, my beloved brothers. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. Therefore, laying aside all filthiness and all that remains of wickedness, in gentleness receive the implanted word, which is able to save your souls” (James 1:19-21).

I have the nasty habit of formulating counterarguments in my mind as I listen to or read the writing of a person with whom I disagree. In other words, I am not genuinely listening to what they have to say. I have noticed also the difficulty to be quick to hear when I am thinking of how to respond while the other person is talking. When I start thinking while they are speaking, I have stopped listening. Watch any political debate and you will see this on display. It is unlikely that the opponents considered the other arguments instead of responding with prepared jabs and retorts.

If I am quick to hear, this means I am treating each person, no matter how much I disagree with them on any given issue, as who they are: a bearer of the Imago Dei. This practice shows that I care more about them as a person than doing “win rhetoric,” or attempting to “dismantle” their argument in war-like terms. This does not mean we can never disagree, or even strongly disagree, with another person on important political or theological debates, but this should reframe the way we see conversation and debate. Being quick to hear means we sincerely attempt to understand their reasoning. Only after doing that can we rightly respond to an individual instead of simply speaking past them.

If I am slow to speak, I have carefully considered the opposing arguments and can respond in wisdom, not raw emotion. If after five minutes of reflection, I still disagree, I can present a reasoned response. It also means that, after listening to them, I may have learned they were simply making the same points I was, but in their own way. Either way, I have given thought to what they said and responded wisely, which gives glory to God.

If I am slow to anger, I am less likely to respond in a way I will regret. A sarcastic quip toward another man or woman who is passionately presenting their argument does no one any good. I become annoyed when I hear that in debate. One person is presenting their argument, and then the other interrupts with a snide remark. You can see them pause a moment after, waiting for “their side” of the audience to applaud. Those types of emotional and sarcastic retorts edify nobody. The anger of man will not produce the righteousness of God. That is a guarantee.

If I am quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger, I am putting away all filthiness and rampant wickedness with respect to arguments. Instead of trading jabs with preplanned retorts, I am responding to arguments with measured thought, tempering my emotions with logic, reason, and an air of prayerfulness. God calls us to act in this way even and especially when our opponents do not.

All of life is lived before the face of God. That means even the conversations and debates we have can be acts of worship lifted to God in prayer. For an example of rhetoric as worship, consider the response of John Calvin to James Sadolet when he wrote Calvin urging his return to the Roman Catholic Church. The response from Calvin is filled with the logical rigor one would expect from the man who wrote The Institutes of the Christian Religion. But in this letter, one can not only read the care Calvin had for the doctrines of the Reformation but also his care for Sadolet in responding to each of his points in turn. He knew that he was arguing with a human being, not a soulless automaton. His letter was carefully crafted and tailored to the man. His words reveal that he read and probably re-read the letter several times over. Only after that did he pick up his pen, not to scribe invective after invective, but to show where they agreed and disagreed on such important matters of what it means to be a Christian.

Calvin gives us a good model of being quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. His final words in the response bear witness to his care for Sadolet:

This rule is an abiding principle in the Church, one which should not be thrown away in favor of rhetoric that promotes ill speech and provokes the quick-tempered. The good cook takes time to test the seasoning of his confection before serving it. Our own speech, said James, deserves the same care because we are serving that speech to others. This is the better way.