Now I was lying awake with a million thoughts racing through my mind. I could not sleep. I got up. It was a cool, not cold, October night, and so I walked. I walked through our town. I wept. I prayed. On repeat, I listened to Worthy by Beautiful Eulogy.
I walked a couple of hours up and down the streets of the ghost town. Perryville shuts down at 9:00 pm. This was closer to 2:00 am.
At this point, it is not necessary to divulge the details of the meeting. Suffice it to say I was presented with the opportunity to give up or push back. By the kind mercy and grace of God, I chose to push back.
I know the proclivities of my sinful heart. I know there is pride always lurking. So, I do not say this as one who is as sanctified as he needs to be. But I believe the one driving motivation for not giving up was this: Christ is worthy of a healthy church.
Here is the first verse of Worthy by Beautiful Eulogy that I seem to have mulled over thousands of times:
Righteousness and eternal life when salvation is given
All my sins paid for and I could never repay You
But now my greatest delight is to trust You and obey You
More than a genre of music, worship is a heart-change
I gladly bow my knee to the God who never changes
Every day I’m changing, becoming more like Christ
Adoring what is good, adorned with the fruits of new life
And my hope is not a fantasy, it’s built upon a reality
That You will keep Your promises according to Your sovereignty
I will see Your face and be safe under Your reign
When my faith turns to sight and only perfect love remains
Your people are my people no matter where they come from
The church exists according to the works of God’s Son
So when the new creation when we’re gathered in His name
It will be obvious that He’s the one that’s worthy of all fame
Cause the worthiness of Jesus is the reason we belong
So worthy is the Lamb will forever be our song”
I am writing this post today to encourage you. Christ is worthy of a healthy church. Worship is not always about feeling happy. Read the psalms. But when we are convinced of the worthiness of the Christ we can worship, we will worship, even in the midst of the darkest night.
I made it back to bed that night. God granted me sleep. And nearly two years later He has sustained us. And no matter what happens in the future, Christ is worthy.
Do not give up.
About The Author
1689 Federalism | Amillennialism
Allen S. Nelson IV is the pastor of Providence Baptist Church in Perryville, AR, where he resides with his wife Stephanie, and their 6 children. Allen is the author of From Death to Life: How Salvation Works, Before the Throne: Reflections on God’s Holiness, and A Change of Heart: Understanding Regeneration and Why it Matters. He is an M.Div graduate of Grace BIble Theological Seminary in Conway, AR and co-host of The Rural Church Podcast 2.0 on the Reformation Podcast Network.
